When Did My Cat Become Me?

Image: Watching and silently judging everything and everyone in the front yard and street. Sometime in 2008.

I’d just finished reading Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half, and was in the lounge. I was on my couch, waiting for my laptop to load, and the cat was on the opposite couch. Lying on his tummy, paws tucked in, head up and alert just in case anything of note should happen. Ears pricked at the slightest sound, eyes looking in the direction of things beyond the lounge wall. Trying to keep focused, but his eyelids (do cats have eyelids?) drooping closed. Then came the epiphany:

My cat is me.

No, Manny is not a figment of my imagination, conjured up for the Internet to prove that I’m not utterly alone in my weirdness. But I adopted him when he was three years old, and he’s about ten or eleven now. You know how there’s a supposed theory that women who live in close proximity, somehow their mentrual cycles tune in to each other by osmosis or something, and they occur around the same time? Yeah, I have no idea if that’s true or just an urban myth, but I wonder if by living in close proximity to me for most of his life that somehow mine and Manny’s personalities have somewhat merged.

Example: Manny trying to keep alert, whilst actually being rather sleepy = Fear Of Missing Out. I totally have that. You may have noticed that.

Example: Manny’s line of vision follows people around the room, turning his head. Because he’s watching and silently judging. I don’t act upon my judgments, but I have them nonetheless. As in, “I know what you’re doing, but for the time being I’ve decided not to call you out on it.”

There are probably more examples (binge-eating, only his portions are controlled, and he purges but I don’t), but it makes me wonder when my cat stopped being himself and started being me. I chose to adopt him from the shelter, because he was the only cat who could be bothered getting off their arse to greet me, so I figured that initiative should be rewarded, because maybe he actually wanted me to adopt him. Who knows?

P.S. I think maybe this entire blog post is just post-book weirdness. I’m not usually like this, I swear! (Except for the Fear Of Missing Out, watching and silently judging, and the binge-eating, of course.)

P.P.S. I think I might be a gobshite.

Image: Because being outside shouldn’t mean you have to do stuff. Sometimes in 2012.

Post-Vet Report – Tez Vlogs: Thursday 22nd April 2010

Last evening, a sore was discovered on Manny’s back. Today, he went to the vet, who found another sore. But it’s okay, y’all – they’re already healing. Not sure when they sprouted, but anyhoo. He’s inside and on antibiotics for four days, and has spent most of this first day napping on the couch. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t do the same 😉

A brief vlog, in which Manny sprawls on the floor, flicks his tail, and looks out the window:

Manny’s Home

Mew at the back door, 7:15AM. Manny finally came home. We’ve no idea where he’s been, but that doesn’t matter, because he’s home. Was arching his back a lot in the morning, but not as much anymore. Might’ve pulled a muscle. He’s beside me on the couch right now, curled up in a kitteh ball. Purring, so he’s not asleep, but purring means he’s happy. He got extra breakfast (because he didn’t get dinner last night), and he hasn’t vomited, so his internal organs must be okay.

Thanks to you all for your comments and well-wishes. *hugs* You’re made of win 🙂

Where’s Manny?

Usually Manny is home by 5PM. 6PM at the latest. He’s usually quite a predictable lad, who loves afternoon naps on the couch, dinner, and snuggling on the lap of his favourite person (not me, unless no one else he deems “better” is available).

It’s not a hot night – it was only about 20C today. No rain, so he can’t have been keeping shelter somewhere.

Neighbours are doing some renovation, possibly a deck, and they’ve had workers over this week. Circa 4PM (the first time I looked for Manny today), there was an unleashed dog on the neighbours’ driveway. Sprawled casually, but stood up and barked when I walked past their yard. I continued until I got to the end of Manny’s territory (where another cat’s territory begins). Turned back to go home, and the dog was in my front yard. Better not have pooped there. The dog decided to leave and go down the street.

Manny…he doesn’t have animal friends. Well, he was living with other cats at the RSPCA, and was brought there along with his sister. Since we adopted him, he’s been the only pet. He doesn’t like other animals, or human guests. Doesn’t like thunder. Doesn’t like the vacuum…

He has a lot of issues. Keep in mind that he has to live with us, and that’s bound to psychologically screw you up 😉

It’s now 10:07PM, and Manny’s still not home. He’s micro-chipped, and if he’s kept his collar on, then hopefully his registration tag will still be attached. He should be guarding the windows, or sleeping on the couch by now. Or napping, in which case he’d be purring – he’s a very loud purrer. He’s 7 years old, on the verge of being classified a “senior”, and thus he loves napping and hates when kids get on his lawn (so do I, for that matter).

The Cat Is Human

So it turns out Manny is the feline version of the Parents. By turns over-the-top drama queen, then a little too quiet. Goes a bit manic, then tires himself out. On the cusp of becoming a “senior”. Needs to lose weight, or else he’ll have a greater risk of becoming diabetic. Going on a “diet” really means just portion control.

He’s almost 6 kg, and has flab around his tummy. Other than that, he’s healthy. Just need to make sure he’s not binge-drinking wine cheating on his diet 😉

But I swear, when he’s in EmoCat mode, he so seems human. He even sighs. He didn’t get that from me; I suffer in silence 😉

Vampire Dogs, Silly Names & Fab Film Trailer

Manny with Jeri Smith-Ready’s Bad to the Bone here. Cat does not approve of vampire dog. I do, because I haven’t read about vampire animals before now, thus Jez is unique, original and creative.

From DeepEight: Silly names. If you’re having trouble naming your Rock Band, this should surely help. “Norman Conquest” is actually quite clever. “Seraphim Hooker” could be a Mark Henry character – if he has leftover time from writing about celebrity ghouls and impotent incubi 😉 As for “Rogers Boys”…that’s just traumatising.

Peter Griffin tried to destroy this film. But it looks like fun! 🙂

Cat with Books: 28th January 2009

The weather has been amended since my earlier Facebook status update. This week is actually the hottest Melbourne week in 100 years (rather than the 50 years mentioned before). 40C is 104F (according to here), but it was over that today, and will also be over that until about Sunday. If we’re lucky. Which we’re not. Because the Omniscient One in charge of the weather (aka God) has decided to punish those of us without air-conditioning. Nice.

The cat is taking this even worse than I am. He lies stretched out, but he can’t sleep because it’s too hot, so his eyes stay open, and he’s clearly miserable. He simply couldn’t summon up the energy to debate a Cat-with-Books photo session.

Raven Hart not only sent along her latest (The Vampire’s Revenge), but also a little creature. At first I suspected it was a vampire, but then I realised that the creature is smiling, so it can’t be a vampire because vampires are emo 😉 Thus I have named it LOLbat.

Bought myself Jordan Summers’s Red. The edges of the pages are actually red. This is either marketing genius, or a kid high on raspberry cordial. Possibly both.

Galleys of Nalini Singh’s Angels’ Blood, won via a contest. It looks large, but the text instead is actually just regular-sized with massive borders. This must be what makes it a galley rather than an ARC.

Speaking of galleys, I have the ones for Cassandra Clare’s City of Glass, as provided by the Australian publisher. Unlike the other galleys, these aren’t bound…well, not without the rubber bands 😉

Larger and/or previous photos are at my Flickr.

Okay. Me need ice-cream now to cool down.

Cat with Books – Thursday 8th January 2009

Manny with S. J. Day’s Eve of Darkness, A. J. Menden’s Phenomenal Girl 5, Keri Arthur’s Destiny Kills and Liz Maverick’s Irreversible. It’s only 19C today, so he’s not suffering from heat anymore. Does seem to have the blues, though. He’s purring beside me on the couch right now…

You can see more photos of other stuff at my Flickr.

The Ultimate Cat-with-Book Photo

2 cats in one photo – the mind boggles…

I Can Has Cheezburger? will be released by Hachette Australia in December 2008.

Off to stare at the Razor Girl cover some more…

Ravenous

Manny with Sharon Ashwood’s Ravenous ARC. I’m using the laptop, and he’s now sitting beside me. Still, this time, after he kept trying to play with the USB’s strap. Think he likes the heat the laptop generates.