It’s Okay to Feel Guilt and Shame About Feeling Guilt and Shame

Which is weird, I know, in the current societal norms of being unapologetic, guilt-free, and shameless. But hear me out.

I feel guilty about liking V. C. Andrews novels. They are problematic on so many levels: virgin-shaming, slut-shaming, victim-blaming, incest, using religion to harm others, harming/killing people via arsenic or being pushed down stairs… But I still look forward to reading the next one, and I feel guilty about that.

I feel guilty about liking Family Guy. Problematic: all the bodily fluids, the rape jokes, the shaming of all different varieties, the representation of certain groups… But I still look forward to reading the next one, and I feel guilty about that.

I feel guilty about liking “Blurred Lines”. Mind you, I really DON’T like the lyrics or music video, but I DO like the instrumentation and melodies/harmonies. But because of the problematic elements, I feel guilty about liking the non-problematic elements.

Or would it be more of an outrage if I liked something WITHOUT recognising that some/all of it is problematic?

It’s okay to have pleasures, but it’s also okay to recognise, acknowledge, and NAME them as GUILTY pleasures.

You may feel unapologetic, guilt-free, and shameless. But others may not, and that’s okay, too.

I’m Tez Miller, and sometimes I feel guilt and shame about my apathy. But sometimes I DON’T feel guilt or shame, and that’s okay, too.