Ilsa J. Bick
Drowning Instinct
Lerner Carolrhoda (US: 1st February 2012)
Review
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Jenna Lord’s first sixteen years were not exactly a fairy tale. Her father is a controlling psycho and her mother is a drunk. She used to count on her older brother – until he shipped off to Iraq. And then, of course, there was the time she almost died in a fire. Mitch Anderson is many things: A dedicated teacher and coach. A caring husband. A man with a certain…magnetism. There are stories where the girl gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. (This is not one of those stories.) There are stories where the monster gets the girl, and everyone cries for his innocent victim. (This is not one of those stories either.) And there are stories where it’s hard to be sure who’s a prince and who’s a monster, who is a victim and who should live happily ever after. (These are the most interesting stories of all.)

Karen Mahoney
The Wood Queen (Iron Witch, Book 2)
Random House Corgi (AU: 1st February 2012; UK: 2nd February 2012); Llewellyn Flux (US: 8th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
To keep her best friend, Navin, from being killed at the hands of vicious wood elves, Donna Underwood stole the elixir of life. Now she’s facing an alchemist tribunal while her mother lies dying, succumbing to the elfin curse that shattered her mind. In desperation, Donna seeks an audience with Aliette, the fierce and manipulative Wood Queen, who offers a deal: if Donna can use her strange and burgeoning powers to help the wood elves, Aliette will free her mother from the curse. Along with Navin and Xan, the half-fey guy she’s falling for, Donna struggles to unlock the secrets of her iron tattoos in time to save her mother’s life. But some secrets are better left untold.

Richelle Mead
Shadow Heir (Dark Swan, Book 4)
Random House Bantam (AU: 1st February 2012; UK: 2nd February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Shaman-for-hire Eugenie Markham strives to keep the mortal realm safe from trespassing entities. But as the Thorn Land’s prophecy-haunted queen, there’s no refuge for her and her soon-to-be-born-children when a mysterious blight begins to devastate the Otherworld… The spell-driven source of the blight isn’t the only challenge to Eugenie’s instincts. Fairy king Dorian is sacrificing everything to help, but Eugenie can’t trust the synergy drawing them back together. The uneasy truce between her and her shape shifter ex-lover Kiyo is endangered by secrets he can’t – or won’t – reveal. And as a formidable force rises to also threaten the human world, Eugenie must use her own cursed fate as a weapon – and risk the ultimate sacrifice…

M. J. Rose
The Book of Lost Fragrances (Reincarnationist, Book 4)
Random House (AU: 1st February 2012)
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Jac L’Etoile has always been haunted by the past, her memories infused with the exotic scents she grew up around as the heir to a storied French perfume company. Fleeing the pain of those remembrances – and the suicide of her mother – she’s left the company in the hands of her brother Robbie. But when Robbie hints at an earth-shattering discovery in the family archives in Paris, and then suddenly goes missing – leaving a dead body in his wake – Jac is plunged into a world she thought she’d left behind. For the House of L’Etoile has been hiding a powerful secret since 1799: a scent that unlocks the mysteries of reincarnation. In the wrong hands, it’s a perfume with a deadly power. However identifying the formula may be Jac’s only chance to save her brother…

Susanne Winnacker
The Other Life (Weepers, Book 1)
Usborne (UK: 1st February 2012)
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It’s been 3 years, 1 month, 1 week and 6 days since Sherry has seen daylight. When things went wrong up above, she was sealed off from the world in a bunker with her family. But when they run out of food, Sherry and her dad must venture outside. There they find devastation, desolation…and the Weepers: savage mutant killers. When her dad is snatched, Sherry joins forces with gorgeous but troubled Joshua – an Avenger, determined to destroy the Weepers. But can Sherry keep her family and Joshua safe, when his desire for vengeance threatens them all?

Blythe Woolston
Catch & Release
Lerner Carolrhoda (US: 1st February 2012)
Review
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Polly Furnas had The Plan for the future. Get married to Bridger Morgan, for one. College, career, babies. Etc. All the important choices were made. It was all happily-ever-after as a diamond-ring commercial. But The Plan did not include a lethal drug-resistant infection. It did not include “some more reconstruction and scar revision in the future.” And it certainly did not include Odd Estes, a trip to Portland in an ancient Cadillac to “tear Bridger a new one,” fly fishing, marshmallows, Crisco, or a loaded gun. But plans change. Stories get revised and new choices must be made. Polly and Odd have choices: Survival or not. Catch or release.

Jessica Anthony & Rodrigo Corral
Chopsticks
Penguin (US: 2nd February 2012; CA: 7th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (Worldwide)
After her mother died, Glory retreated into herself and her music. Her single father raised her as a piano prodigy, with a rigid schedule and the goal of playing sold-out shows across the globe. Now, as a teenager, Glory has disappeared. As we flash back to the events leading up to her disappearance, we see a girl on the precipice of disaster. Brilliant and lonely, Glory is drawn to an artistic new boy, Frank, who moves in next door. The farther she falls, the deeper she spirals into madness. Before long, Glory is unable to play anything but the song “Chopsticks.” But nothing is what it seems, and Glory’s reality is not reality at all.

Julianna Baggott
Pure (Pure, Book 1)
Hachette Headline (UK & AU: 2nd February 2012); Hachette Grand Central US: 8th February 2012)
Review
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Pressia barely remembers the Detonations or much about life during the Before. In her sleeping cabinet behind the rubble of an old barbershop where she lives with her grandfather, she thinks about what is lost – how the world went from amusement parks, movie theatres, birthday parties, fathers and mothers…to ash and dust, scars, permanent burns, and fused, damaged bodies. And now, at an age when everyone is required to turn themselves over to the militia to either be trained as a soldier or, if they are too damaged and weak, to be used as live targets, Pressia can no longer pretend to be small. Pressia is on the run. There are those who escaped the apocalypse unmarked. Pures. They are tucked safely inside the Dome that protects their healthy, superior bodies. Yet Partridge, whose father is one of the most influential men in the Dome, feels isolated and lonely. Different. He thinks about loss – maybe just because his family is broken; his father is emotionally distant; his brother killed himself; and his mother never made it inside their shelter. Or maybe it’s his claustrophobia: his feeling that this Dome has become a swaddling of intensely rigid order. So when a slipped phrase suggests his mother might still be alive, Partridge risks his life to leave the Dome to find her. When Pressia meets Partridge their worlds shatter all over again.

Sara Wilson Etienne
Harbinger (Holbrook Academy, Book 1)
Penguin Putnam (US: 2nd February 2012; CA: 7th February 2012)
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When sixteen-year-old Faye arrives at Holbrook Academy, she doesn’t expect to find herself exactly where she needs to be. After years of strange waking visions and nightmares, her only comfort the bones of dead animals, Faye is afraid she’s going crazy. Fast. But her first night at Holbrook, she feels strangely connected to the school and the island it sits on, like she’s come home. She’s even made her first real friends, but odd things keep happening to them. Every morning they wake on the floors of their dorm rooms with their hands stained red. Faye knows she’s the reason, but what does it all mean? The handsome Kel tries to help her unravel the mystery, but Faye is certain she can’t trust him; in fact, he may be trying to kill her – and the rest of the world too.

Darynda Jones
Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson, Book 3)
Hachette Little, Brown Piatkus (UK: 2nd February 2012; AU: February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Charlie Davidson sees dead people. As grim reaper extraordinaire it’s her job to convince them to “go into the light.” But when these very dead people have died under less than ideal circumstances (i.e. murder), Charlie dons her Private Investigator hat to solve the crime.

Kelly Keaton
A Beautiful Evil (Gods & Monsters, Book 2)
Simon & Schuster (UK: 2nd February 2012; US: 21st February 2012; CA: Date)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Ari has finally learned the terrifying truth. She is a descendant of Medusa, cursed to become a monster designed to kill with a single touch. Haunted by the image of what she will become, Ari, with the help of the gorgeous Sebastian, is doing everything she can to learn more about Athena, the goddess who cursed her family and kidnapped young Violet. But the battle between good and evil is much bigger than she realises, and Ari is about to be pulled into a world more horrific than she could ever imagine. And now, as she prepares to face Athena, Ari must unleash the very thing she’s most afraid of…herself.

Rachel Vincent
If I Die (Soul Screamers, Book 5)
Mills & Boon Mira Ink (UK: 3rd February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
As a teen banshee, Kaylee’s blood-curdling screams are a death knell for others. Yet she never expected to see her own name at the top of a reaper’s list. Scheduled to die within days, Kaylee knows her magic can’t change her fate. Worse, on top of worrying about her own demise, she needs to save mortal best friend Emma from the clutches of a deadly Netherworld creature. As Kaylee’s time on earth slips away, troubled banshee boyfriend Nash and his reaper brother Tod refuse to give up on Kaylee. They’re ready to unearth murky family secrets to give her a last chance at life, as their fight to save Kaylee becomes a battle for her love.

Veronica Rossi
Under the Never Sky (Under the Never Sky, Book 1)
Hachette Little, Brown Atom (UK: 7th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Aria has lived her whole life in the protected dome of Reverie. Her entire world confined to its spaces, she’s never thought to dream of what lies beyond its doors. So when her mother goes missing, Aria knows her chances of surviving in the outer wasteland long enough to find her are slim. Then Aria meets an outsider named Perry. He’s searching for someone too. He’s also wild – a savage – but might be her best hope at staying alive. If they can survive, they are each other’s best hope for finding answers.

Jessica Spotswood
Born Wicked (Cahill Witch Chronicles, Book 1)
Penguin (US & CA: 7th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Everybody knows Cate Cahill and her sisters are eccentric. Too pretty, too reclusive, and far too educated for their own good. But the truth is even worse: they’re witches. And if their secret is discovered by the priests of the Brotherhood, it would mean an asylum, a prison ship – or an early grave. Before her mother died, Cate promised to protect her sisters. But with only six months left to choose between marriage and the Sisterhood, she might not be able to keep her word…especially after she finds her mother’s diary, uncovering a secret that could spell her family’s destruction. Desperate to find alternatives to their fate, Cate starts scouring banned books and questioning rebellious new friends, all while juggling tea parties, shocking marriage proposals, and a forbidden romance with the completely unsuitable Finn Belastra. If what her mother wrote is true, the Cahill girls aren’t safe. Not from the Brotherhood, the Sisterhood – not even from each other.

Amanda Grace
In Too Deep
Llewellyn Flux (US: 8th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
I never meant for anyone to get hurt. All I wanted to do that night was make a play for Carter Wellesley. His heartless rejection was mortifying, but people got the wrong idea when they saw me leaving his bedroom, crying. That’s how rumours of rape started. Now girls at school are pouring out their sympathy to me. Guys too. But not everyone’s on my side. The school has become a war zone and the threats are getting scary. What began as poetic justice has morphed into something bigger – forcing me to make a terrible choice.

Kim Harrison
A Perfect Blood (Hollows, Book 10)
HarperCollins Voyager (CA: 10th February 2012; US: 21st February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Ritually murdered corpses are appearing across Cincinnati, terrifying amalgams of human and other. Pulled in to help investigate by the I.S. and the FIB, former witch turned day-walking demon Rachel Morgan soon realises a horrifying truth: a human hate group is trying to create its own demons to destroy all Inderlanders, and to do so, it needs her blood. She’s faced vampires, witches, werewolves, demons, and more, but humanity itself might be her toughest challenge yet.

Kate Ellison
The Butterfly Clues
Random House Egmont (US & CA: 14th February 2012)
Review
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Penelope (Lo) Marin has always loved to collect beautiful things. Her dad’s consulting job means she’s grown up moving from one rundown city to the next, and she’s learned to cope by collecting (sometimes even stealing) quirky trinkets and souvenirs in each new place – possessions that allow her to feel at least some semblance of home. But in the year since her brother Oren’s death, Lo’s hoarding has blossomed into a full-blown, potentially dangerous obsession. She discovers a beautiful, antique butterfly pendant during a routine scour at a weekend flea market, and recognises it as having been stolen from the home of a recently murdered girl known only as “Sapphire” – a girl just a few years older than Lo. As usual when Lo begins to obsess over something, she can’t get the murder out of her mind. As she attempts to piece together the mysterious “butterfly clues,” with the unlikely help of a street artist named Flynt, Lo quickly finds herself caught up in a seedy, violent underworld much closer to home than she ever imagined – a world, she’ll ultimately discover, that could hold the key to her brother’s tragic death.

Paula Guran (ed.)
Brave New Love (Anthology)
Perseus Running Press (US: 14th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Young love has always had its challenges, but even so, the world falling apart at its seams is a pretty big obstacle. This collection of YA dystopian tales explores survival of the fittest in terms of love, passion, and humanity. When the survival of the human race is at stake, what will it take for the bond between two people to hold strong together? Featuring some of the most well known and best-selling names of the dystopian genre, as well as up-and-coming authors, this anthology includes works from Jeanne DuPrau, Kiera Cass, William Sleator, Jesse Karp, Diana Peterfreund, Carrie Vaughn, and Carrie Ryan.

Caitlin Kittredge
The Nightmare Garden (Iron Codex, Book 2)
Random House Delacorte (US & CA: 14th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Everything Aoife thought she knew about the world was a lie. There is no Necrovirus. And Aoife isn’t going to succumb to madness because of a latent strain – she will lose her faculties because she is allergic to iron. Aoife isn’t human. She is a changeling – half human and half from the land of Thorn. And time is running out for her. When Aoife destroyed the Lovecraft engine she released the monsters from the Thorn Lands into the Iron Lands and now she must find a way to seal the gates and reverse the destruction she’s ravaged on the world that’s about to poison her.

Leah Clifford
A Touch Morbid (Touch, Book 2)
HarperCollins (CA: 15th February 2012; US: 28th February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Eden saved Az. She fought and sacrificed and won him back from the most evil of evils. Now is the time for happily-ever-afters, right? Not so fast. A boy – even an angel – is hardly the solution to Eden’s problems. She’s still caught between life and death, still cursed to spread poison with her touch. She’s lost one best friend and another is quickly unravelling. And now something is happening to the mortals. Something very, very bad. What happens in the dark spaces? The ones between life and death, love and hate, betrayal and redemption, sanity and delusion. Or good and evil. Eden is about to find out.

Lauren DeStefano
Fever (Wither, Book 2)
HarperCollins Voyager (UK: 16th February 2012); Simon & Schuster (US & CA: 21st February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
For 17-year-old Rhine Ellery, a daring escape from a suffocating polygamous marriage is only the beginning… Running away brings Rhine and Gabriel right into a trap, in the form of a twisted carnival whose ringmistress keeps watch over a menagerie of girls. Just as Rhine uncovers what plans await her, her fortune turns again. With Gabriel at her side, Rhine travels through an environment as grim as the one she left a year ago – surroundings that mirror her own feelings of fear and hopelessness. The two are determined to get to Manhattan, to relative safety with Rhine’s twin brother, Rowan. But the road there is long and perilous – and in a world where young women only live to age twenty and young men die at twenty-five, time is precious. Worse still, they can’t seem to elude Rhine’s father-in-law, Vaughn, who is determined to bring Rhine back to the mansion…by any means necessary.

Andrea Cremer
Bloodrose (Nightshade, Book 3)
Hachette Little, Brown Sphere (UK: 21st February 2012)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Calla has always welcomed war. But now that the final battle is upon her, there’s more at stake than fighting. There’s saving Ren, even if it incurs Shay’s wrath. There’s keeping Ansel safe, even if he’s been branded a traitor. There’s proving herself as the pack’s alpha, facing unnameable horrors, and ridding the world of the Keepers’ magic once and for all. And then there’s deciding what to do when the war ends. If Calla makes it out alive, that is.

Kira Brady: Hearts of Fire

Kira Brady: Hearts of Darkness Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Kelly Gay: Shadows Before the Sun Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Kate Gordon: Vulpi Buy (UK)

Darynda Jones: Death and the Girl Next Door

Darynda Jones: Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

Gemma Malley: The Killables Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Liz Maverick: Trial by Fire

Kathleen Peacock: Deadly Hemlock (UK) Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Jackson Pearce: Purity Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Diana Rowland: Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

J. A. Souders: Renegade

Gayle Ann Williams: Riders on the Storm

Jenny Humphrey is much more annoying in the Gossip Girl series, but here she’s quite tolerable, compared to the company she keeps. Callie Vernon is old money; her mother is Atlanta’s governor. Brett Messerschmidt’s parents are Jersey gauche; her dad a cosmetic surgeon, and her mum a big fan of animal print-leggings. And Tinsley Carmichael is the biggest bitch of all, but we’re supposed to hate her.

In this instalment, Brett’s been having a sexless affair with her adviser, and Tinsley decides to break them up. Callie’s ex Easy Walsh is now with Jenny; Tinsley decides to break them up. She’s not just breaking up romances, though – she’s dividing friendships, too. Tinsley could never be accused of not keeping things interesting.

I’m not violent, but if I were one to physically throw a book against a wall, I’d throw this one. Nothing to do with the writing’s quality, but with a particular story element. I’m offended. Not personally offended, but it still feels insulting in general. Perhaps you’ll feel different.

In the big climax scene (involving a civilian grandmother aiming a rocket launcher, no less) the heroine’s spine is damaged. Not fully severed, though, so I could’ve predicted the ending, but with most books I find it best to just read – and not think.

So Cece’s in a wheelchair, feeling sorry for herself and shutting everyone out. This goes on for about three months. Then Blain proposes to her, and Cece agrees conditionally. Then she manages to stand up – swaying, but unassisted. That condition: the wedding will only happen when she can walk down the aisle. About a year later, they’re married and pregnant.

So that’s a happy ending? Why couldn’t Cece have remained paralysed? Do wheelchair people not deserve love and marriage? Maybe the short-term paralysis was only put in the story to create conflict, so it shouldn’t be such a big deal, but I am freaking pissed off. What the hell? Are the author and publisher saying that love cures disabilities, or that paraplegics don’t deserve love and marriage? This was probably not their intention, but that’s how it comes across. Admittedly, this book was published back in…2005, perhaps, but I think my point of view would have been the same then. But I could be in the minority – I’m able-bodied, so I may not have a right to feel offended in this case. Huh.

The characters are unlikable, but the plot is a winner, well-planned with psychological twists and turns driving the story. A claustrophobic, psychological thriller with plenty of family drama. I read it one sitting, so should you.

Trashtown is the poorer part of Gypsum, Missouri, and home to sixteen-year-old Hailey Tarbell. She’s always been naturally athletic, but her grandma won’t let her participate in anything that doesn’t bring home the bacon. Meanwhile, Alice Tarbell makes money by drug-dealing, and probably also collects payment from the government for fostering five-year-old Chub, who has developmental disabilities…or does he?

Generations back in Ireland, a community of Seers and Healers moved elsewhere. Trashtown now plays home to some, and these Banished will do anything to keep their bloodlines flowing – including pimping out one’s thirteen-year-old daughter. So that’s bad, but otherwise being a Healer is quite decent – note Hailey’s athleticism, never being ill, and healing quickly if a mishap does happen. Though if she tries to heal someone, or something, that’s already dead…she turns them into zombies.

A rich dude runs a lab that has acquired some Healer DNA, and employs scientists to bring the dead back to life. After all, zombies respond to direct commands, making them perfectly obedient soldiers. The mastermind has found out about Hailey, and sets about capturing her…

There’s something insulting about someone fabulous who pretends to be less so. (Some of us are just naturally uncoordinated.) Another semi-insulting thing: supernatural abilities can cure developmental disabilities. I really like how Hailey looks after Chub, but if he doesn’t need her so much, then that relationship factor will go. Then the romance factor with another character (introduced late in Banished) will kick in, and I’ll lose interest. But hopefully the plot will still keep me going. We’ll find out in Book 2, Unforsaken, whenever I get my filthy mitts on it.

Ilsa J. Bick‘s White Space to Egmont (NA) in a 2-book deal. Pitched as The Matrix meets Inkheart, about a seventeen-year-old girl who jumps between the lines of books & into the white space where realities are created and destroyed – but who may herself be nothing more than a character written into being from an alternate universe.

Lauren DeStefano‘s Wither to Prospect Park & Violet House (which is owned by Aly & AJ Michalka).

Lauren Dane: Tart

Lauren Dane: Laid Open

Claire Merle: The Glimpse Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Holly Black: Black Heart (UK) Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Carrie Jones: Endure Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Kate Locke: God Save the Queen Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

M. J. Scott: Blood Kin Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Kassy Tayler: Ashes of Twilight

I was raised on British comedy TV, so books provided my US insight. Growing up in Australia, reading Sweet Valley was an escapist bizarro world of cultures that seemed very foreign: cheerleaders, school spirit, every sixteen-year-old had a car, etc. And they were always shopping, even though none of them worked. Lila Fowler must’ve used credit cards paid for by her dad, but that doesn’t explain the others. So everyone in Sweet Valley seemed rich.

Like most long-running series, Sweet Valley jumped the shark – namely when Sweet Valley High switched to SVH Senior Year, Sweet Valley Twins to Sweet Valley Jr. High, and Sweet Valley University to…well, the twins moved into a duplex, and then came the biggest shark-jump of all: an Upstairs, Downstairs four-book series entitled Elizabeth, in which Elizabeth Wakefield runs away to England, calls herself Elizabeth Bennet, and works as a scullery maid for some kind of British royalty. I am not kidding. I wish I were.

After the first Elizabeth novel, I dropped all Sweet Valley. I moved onto chick lit, then crime for a good chunk of time, then urban fantasy in the early-2000s.

My memory is a sieve, but Sweet Valley Confidential leads me to believe my brain isn’t an entire wasteland:

SWEET VALLEY CONFIDENTIAL / MY BRAIN
Lila Fowler’s dad is Richard / Lila Fowler’s dad is George
A. J. Morgan is blond / A. J. Morgan is a redhead
Aaron Dallas was a dick in high school / Aaron Dallas was not a dick in high school

Basically my beef with Sweet Valley Confidential is that I don’t know what’s canon (or even what “canon” means):

Canon: Events that are set in stone, and affect future storylines
E.g. Maude dies in The Simpsons
Not canon: eg. The Simpsons never age, even though they’ve had so many Christmases

Confidential references events from SVU: Jessica Wakefield was married to Mike McAllery; Elizabeth had a long-term relationship with Tom Watts. But it forgets that Enid Rollins became Alexandra.

A series should stay true to the characters all the way. Francine Pascal throws that out the window, turning villains into heroes, and heroes into villains: Jessica and Todd are engaged. Elizabeth and Bruce are BFFs.

Class clown Winston Egbert formed a dot-com biz; became rich and a douchebag. I really liked him before, and sleazy Bruce was great fun – the Chuck Bass of the ’90s. Lila Fowler was also a favourite, but she barely gets page-time in Confidential; just hosts a party.

The plot is weak, but the novel was published for nostalgia. Lyrics from Beyoncé’s “Broken-Hearted Girl” and Justin Timberlake’s “My Love” immediately date the story, and are unnecessary. The book is mostly meh, but Chapter 14 is when all hell breaks loose, a brilliant set-piece. At their grandmother’s birthday dinner, the twins face off, the guests get involved, Ned Wakefield escapes the table, and Alice Wakefield screams to bring in the cake. I don’t know if this scene is supposed to be hilarious, but it’s a hoot!

In short, you’re probably better off not reading Sweet Valley Confidential, but you’d be a fool to miss the shenanigans of Chapter 14. I can’t buy eBooks, so I’ll miss the upcoming e-serial, unless it emerges in a print book.