[REVIEW] Beyond Heaving Bosoms – Sarah Wendell & Candy Tan

Sarah Wendell & Candy Tan
Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels
Simon & Schuster Fireside (US & CA: 14th April 2009; AU: 5th June 2009)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

I can handle some of the sub-genres, but as a whole romance doesn’t work for me. Not just because of the books, but also because of some of its Special Snowflake fans who like to play victim about how the romance genre is persecuted, or prejudiced against, or whatever. And thus they get so defensive. CHILLAX, PEOPLE!

I like the Smart Bitches, Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan, because unlike a lot of romance bloggers they don’t absolutely fangirl over every romance book they read. They’re quite forthcoming when they don’t like characters or their motives, or the author’s purple prose, etc. These ladies are awesome because they don’t act so precious.

That said, this book is probably strictly for romance fans to celebrate with their fellow kin. But for non-fans, there’s plenty of comic fodder. I don’t really care for the “why we love it” bits, but the snark is brilliant. And the best of it comes when discussing paranormals. Never encountered “hemipenes” before? There are example books on page 113.

Personally, I’m looking for more great novels in the m/m or f/m/m sub-genre (pages 114-115): For a variety of reasons, many romance readers love romances wherein the protagonists are both men. If you can recommend some great ones published by the major print publishers, please do!

[REVIEW] Things Bogans Like – E. Chas McSween et al

E. Chas McSween, Enron Hubbard, Flash Johnson, Hunter McKenzie-Smythe, Intravenus DeMilo & Michael Jayfox
Things Bogans Like – Tribal Tatts to Reality TV: How to Recognise the Twenty-First Century Bogan
Hachette (AU: November 2010)
Buy (UK) Buy (CA)

Buying this book online, it arrived unexpectedly wrapped in a Twilight T-shirt. If you don’t understand the link between bogans and Twilight, read on

I suffer from culture-cringe, so taking the mick out of bogans is perfectly fine; I do it often. So after encountering Things Bogans Like, I immediately subscribed and have been following it ever since. And because most, if not all, of the book’s contents were originally published on the website, reading them later here in print isn’t as fresh. There’s a lot of repetition for those of you with short attention spans, which can be a drag for the more informed amateur boganologist.

But some content is still hilarious in its second viewing. The photos spot-on depict the bogan in its natural environment, partaking in its favourite activities. There’s even a hint to make the concept of boat people more attractive (pages 166-168): If the illegal fishing boats [...] actually were full of hot Asian chicks [...], hordes of bogans would be strapping long range fuel tanks and floral bouquets onto their jet skis, and trying to intercept the vessels themselves.

But the real gold lies in the section on vampires (pages 252-254). [...] the femme-bogue becomes so engorged by the notion of abstinence that she is likely to proceed post-haste to the local glassing barn to gyrate wildly against anyone not smelling strongly of garlic. This demonstrates the dizzying power that sexual innuendo and metaphor have over the bogan’s copulatory glands. Unfortunately, the bogan’s inability to actually understand metaphor resulted in True Blood.

This tome works best as a coffee table book, or joke gift to confuse your foreign friends. They may not recogise the names of pseudo-celebrities mentioned within, but the context should explain much.

[REVIEW] The Shadow Runners – Liz Maverick

Liz Maverick
The Shadow Runners (2176, Book 3)
Dorchester Love Spell (US: June 2004)
Buy (UK)

Welcome to futuristic Australia, part-penal colony and part-dumping ground. This concept had a big impact when I encountered it a few years ago. I knew the execution could never live up to the premise I idealised, but I still looked forward to this.

The world-building definitely meets my expectations, particularly the mysterious Parliament which consists of folk who claim to have been aristocrats in their former countries. The group definitely has an historical feel to them, which is rather strange in a futuristic, but nonetheless welcome. I’m not a fan of historicals, but the ones I like tend to involve opium and/or madness. Why? They make for more interesting plots than the same-old class battles. And The Shadow Runners does indeed feature opiate use, though I wasn’t expecting it. Yay for surprise!opium

The novel’s rather enjoyable, until the characters set off for the outback. Action and psychological issues are aplenty there, but I just didn’t connect with it.

The Shadow Runners may not be as good as The Legend of Banzai Maguire, but it sure beats Day of Fire. (One would’ve thought I’d love futuristic Canada, but the characters just didn’t work for me.)

Support an Australian Author

It’s Australia Day, but now’s as good a time as any to support an Australian author, even if you’re international. Here are the books by Australian authors on my wishlist – perhaps they’re on yours, too:

Keri Arthur: Darkness Unbound Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Lexxie Couper: Savage Transformation Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Sara Creasy: Children of Scarabaeus Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Erica Hayes: Blood Cursed Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)
Rebecca Lim: Exile Buy (UK) Buy (Worldwide)
Yolanda Sfetsos: Damaged Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

February 2011 Releases

Done with January 2011 Releases? Here are February’s releases. To see further into the future, check my Reading Wishlist.

7 New Covers (Armintrout, Arthur, Barnes, Richardson, Snyder, Somers & Stiefvater)

Tezzy’s Adventures in the A-League

Long-time viewer of Melbourne Victory‘s matches on TV, I saw my first in-person game on Sunday 9th January, against Adelaide United at AAMI Park (that’s in Batmania, y’all). The less said about the match itself, the better. Here, distract yourself with The Glory Days of Oceania, featuring Victory’s own Thompson (who was injured, and didn’t play yesterday’s match).

The official crowd through the turnstiles was 18,558, but a lot left before the match was over. And thus missed Victory’s only goal, in the last minute of extra-time.

Anyhoo, I forgot to bring my digital camera, but I had my phone. Here are some snaps and commentary. You can see larger versions of the images at Flickr.

[REVIEW] Outside In – Maria V. Snyder

Maria V. Snyder
Outside In (Insider, Book 2)
Harlequin Teen (US: 15th February 2011); Mills & Boon Mira Ink (UK: 18th March 2011)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Crikey! The metal cube setting is fresh and exciting to my eejit brain, which doesn’t usually care much for hard sci-fi. The characters…everyone seems kickarse in their own way, so much so that I wonder if mediocre folk, like myself, would be fed to Chomper.

Overthrowing a government is one thing, but defeating overlords is another. The first novel features the former, and this second book has the latter. Trella just wants to kick back now that she’s done what she thought was the hard work. But there are new enemies, friends may have switched allegiances, and the stakes are higher than ever. Bombs, torture collars, grenades: life is now more adult Inside. But the juxtaposition of teens showering together and their attachment to a stuffed animal is actually…kind of creepy. Have one or the other element, but both in the same book? Awkward.

The secret agendas, hidden tech, and the presence of Outsiders make Outside In an absolute thriller. Fingers crossed there’ll be a third novel in this series.

[REVIEW] Jealousy – Lili St. Crow

Lili St. Crow
Jealousy (Strange Angels, Book 3)
Penguin Razorbill (US: 29th July 2010; AU: 2nd August 2010; CA: 3rd August 2010); Quercus (UK: 29th July 2010)
Buy (US) Buy (UK) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

Dru Anderson is now living and learning in the Schola Prima, surrounded by male werwulfen and djamphir. The only other female around is Anna, head of the Order (I forget what that is) and the reason why this book is titled Jealousy. Anna likes to think of herself as a Special Snowflake, and doesn’t understand why others don’t agree – namely Christophe, the guy Dru may or may not have a crush on. But Dru wasn’t Anna’s first target.

The relationship between Dru and Graves is the most authentic I’ve ever come across in fiction. It’s awkward – delightfully, refreshingly awkward. Writers, this is how teen romances should be written.

Overall, this novel seemed to lack a little in story. Basically it can be summed up:

-Anna’s a beeyatch
-Christophe may be back
-A key character goes missing

I was expecting…well, more.

[REVIEW] Midnight Caller – Leslie Tentler

Leslie Tentler
Midnight Caller (Chasing Evil, Book 1)
Harlequin Mira (US: 18th January 2011)
Buy (US) Buy (CA) Buy (Worldwide)

The romance doesn’t work for me. Investigators getting romantically involved with case witnesses is just not professional.

New Orleans is a little overused in fiction, and this novel could’ve been set in any other state…except for the climax. The swamp really justifies why the story is set here, and let’s face it: the South is damn creepy. Weird shiz and family secrets are part and parcel here, and definitely put the suspense in this romantic suspense. The paranormal elements thankfully fall short of going over-the-top, and thus keep the novel in the crime genre.

Would’ve liked to learn more about Gavin Firth and Sarah Rivette.